Discover your WHY with one question

If you are unfulfilled in what you do each day, there’s a good chance you can’t clearly articulate your sense of purpose. There’s a simple question that helps you zero in on that answer.

Few people in this world have earned enough money to be able to work “for fun,” which means the vast majority of people work a job simply to provide for our basic physiological and safety needs. However, there is a third group; they also must work to provide for their basic needs, but they have far more in common with the group that works for fun. The commonality between these groups is that they know their WHY, and they live it through their work.

What is a WHY?

Your WHY equates to a sense of purpose, and it helps get you out of bed in the morning and go make things happen. It’s the reason that we absorb the body blows of our day-to-day routine. More than what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning, your WHY is tied to feelings that, when fulfilled, make you whole; your WHY provides a clear light that guides your actions throughout your life.

What it is not

The most common answer people initially give when trying to articulate their WHY is either family or money. While both are understandable answers, one is wrong and one is too shallow.

First, people cannot be fulfilled by money – at most, they’re motivated by what money allows them to do or possess in terms of security, material possessions, or power. For most people, the answer to, “Why do you work?” reveals a requirement in order to make money to provide for family. It’s a perfectly understandable answer, but that’s not a WHY – money is a concept whose value is determined by society. Further, it’s a result of working. Your WHY is something that fulfills a deeper need.

Second – and I know this is a dicey challenge – while your family can provide a level of fulfillment, your family can only serve as an inspiration to fulfill your WHY; but your family can’t be your WHY.

For the sake of argument, let’s agree that my family is my WHY. As an extreme example, let’s say tragedy struck and, God forbid, I lose my family tomorrow. If my family were my WHY, I would have no more reason to exist because my WHY has expired and is no longer relevant. Would that mean that I now have to re-calibrate my life for a new sense of purpose? Similarly, if I married and started a family at an older age, does this imply that my WHY to that point in my life was all about the search for my family? No.

Our WHY is developed as a result of very impressionable experiences (emotional highs and emotional lows) through our teens and maybe slightly beyond; it only becomes more clear to us as we age. Your WHY is the reason you were put on this earth…it’s the reason you exist…your WHY is how you make a difference in the world beyond your family!

One simple question to discover your WHY…

Now ask yourself this question: “If I had all the money I needed and the well-being of my family was secured, what would I do everyday with the rest of my life?” What would get you out of bed and drive you through the day?

As hard as we all work, “nothing” or “I’d be on a beach with a margarita” are fun to think about, but these not realistic answers; people who are driven to achieve and succeed are not fulfilled by doing “nothing.”

For me, if money was no longer a concern and my family’s well-being was secure, I would coach and teach. There is nothing more fulfilling to me than watching the proverbial light bulb go off above someone’s head when something I’ve said or presented resonates with them and adds clarity, comfort, or reassurance. It might be a small thing, but it could have far reaching effects…like what happened to me.

My WHY is rooted in the answer to this question (although it took me a while to uncover it more clearly). More importantly for me, I’ve determined a way to live my WHY through what I do for a living even though it’s not the exact same vehicle as coaching and teaching at a high school.

My WHY? I thought you’d never ask…I’d love to share.

*Start With Why, by Simon Sinek, is a must-read if any of this resonates with you. It is one my five influencers, which I read over and over, always pulling new ideas and thoughts.